Thursday, February 19, 2009

searching for freedom, decision making, fighting for life....

Is it a dream to stay at home, chillax and rot and dun have to worry anything much about not finishing your assignments and making your group members pissed at you and lecturers not giving you your marks to pass the term or getting hired/fired by your boss? Well, after being in that position for the past 2 months, I would say it was pretty enjoying dream at first but after a while it’s actually a nightmare….

The longer I stay at home doing house chores, being my family’s driver, and taking care of my grandma, I felt like I’m slowly being taken for my granted by my siblings. They dun have to worried about getting yelled at by my parents cause they are still schooling. But for me.. I’m different. It is obvious that if anything is not right in the house my parents and aunts will always come to me first…

Who likes getting scolding and being ordered everyday and every hour in the house when something is not right or to do something? I’m very sure you ppl out there would understand this. I know others may have bigger problems while mine is actually pretty small.. but a person can choose whether to live with that problem or to solve that problem and face a new problem and solve it again. Life is like a circle. When you solve something already, you will always be faced with a new challenge. And the challenge of my life which is still left unsolved IS GETTING A JOB AND EARNING MY OWN MONEY AND DUN HAVE TO WORRY WITH MY MOM CRAZY MOOD SWINGS.. I salute you yee lin for living up with a every-seconds-mood-swings mom. But that does not mean I hate my mom. She’s actually pretty fine when she’s really in the good mood.. when she’s not, be prepared cause the volcano is gonna erupt!! *KA-BOOM!!!!*

<P3@C3 0U+>
************

Another thing to worry now is whether to let my grandmother to go through chemotherapy or not... It's actually a very painful thing to go through... we're (my family) are worried that she will go for the first session and would not go anymore cause of the pain that she had gone through during the first therapy.. what do you all think? should or should not send her for chemotherapy?? your answers/view matters to me.. thanks..

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

after so long........

ok... since the last time i updated my blog was long ago, I shall update it now...

I'm at home shaking legs everyday, taking care of my grandmother, being my family's driver since i'm so damn free.. wake up morning, clean clean clean, watch tv, sleep, eat, sleep; (that explains my size now, enormous). normally on thursday, i will have pool session with carmen in 7th floor... (college) and my most of my money is not being spent on food like before but it's being spent more to CYBER!! marder ar!! my house still got no internet line, got phone number ad... but no line... i beg you tm.point... please be hurry... if not i'll claim every single sen i used to go cyber from you!! nah... cant do that... jst saying..




most of the time after pool, i will drive around with carmen... explore new places.. the first time i did that, i drove to ampang... walao... wanted to show carmen 'little korea' and guess what... i dorve around for 2 hrs to find that place.. actually im like damn near the place ad but im going round and round so many times trying to find the place.. and at last at 2.30am i finally found that freaking place... then later drove back.. i only reached home at 3 something in the morning. the last time i drove around after pool with carmen is to KL.. finally i actually drove to stadium merdeka. was shocked to see so many ppl there chilling at around 1 something. then drove to JLN TUGU. was hoping to get to see tugu malaysia. unfortunately i drove to a dead end. but found out that if i wanna go to bird park, orchid farm and many other places, drive to jln tugu. lolz. then after that drove pass many clubs. very happening clubs. saw so many sexy girls, no hot guys.. swt.. then drove pass ritz carlton. miss that place actually.. then after that showed carmen pavillion. lolz.. then after that head back to her place then to my place. reached home around 2 something. kinda like driving around like that in the middle of the night but i know its dangerous.. im a psycho person who likes driving around like that. cause everytime if i get lost and able to find my way back, i will feel so satisfied and proud of myself.. LOLZ....




My grandmother was diagnosed with 2nd stage colon cancer, and she went for surgery last week, Saturday; 7th February 2009. Everyone in my family was shocked to hear that my grandma have this cancer suddenly. The good news, she is doing good now, just that she's a lil' lazy to move around now... cause being pampered in the hospital by the nurses there.. but that doesn't matter to me.. Jst glad that she's back home now and doing great... can smile and still INSTRUCT me what to do while lying down.. wow.. i really salute her... There's one thing about my grandma you all should know.... My grandma is a person who cant let go of things. eg: my dad is an adult who can take care of himself, he's working and most of the time comes home late and at times very late and at times wont come home at all.. work OT. My grandma is already so old yet cant let go of things... what she will normally do is, she will wait til my dad comes home until will fall asleep on the sofa, and when my dad reach home, my grandma will be awake to warm up the food for him.... where on earth can you find a grandmother/mother like this now... my grandma is 75 years old... before she has this cancer, she's always very active cooking, going out and joking around. msg to my grandma : Po, you're old ad... it's time for you to enjoy and relax. Let us handle the things.. It's time for you to learn how to let go of things.. It's our turn to take care of you.. Stop being stubborn and start accepting things. We'll always be there for you.