updates bout my new upcoming life...

so bout the new job offer.... hmmm.... I've went for the interview on last Tuesday.... it was scary a day before and not so scary during the interview with Ms CJ... a very very experienced lady who has been working in FM for a very very long time... so what was the outcome you all may ask...

date of availability would be 1st October.. that is what Ms CJ wrote on the employment form... so i assume that i actually got the job... starting work on the 1st October....

it's completely a new thing for me as I've been studying hotel management majoring in food and beverage for 2 years and been working in sushi zanmai since march this year... suddenly changing to customer service in a FORWARDING (lol... have to change it.. this cant be wrong!!) company would be a big challenge for me.. but as everyone says... it's always a good thing to learn new things in life... get more experience and knowledge... in future, use the knowledge and experience to get better job and SALARY ... lolz...

i was negative about it at first but i think i need to keep myself positive to love my new job.... but i know i will be very 'hard hearted' to leave zanmai as i have been close to everyone there... the kitchen staff (ah lai, ah heng, ah hao, mike and ah meng) treat me like their "BRADER" *hits chest twice end with peace sign* arrhhh you know what i mean... and ah lam and ah teck, both PIC of kitchen staff whom i've been working with and always helping me to solve customer's complains... and ah chien whom i prefer to cook my YAKIMONO items/yakisoba ... oishi ne!! haihhh.... and the service staff (shiau wei, ah yian, ah yee, jack, phillip and angeline) that treat me as their "family/fren".... it's really gonna be sad and hard leaving them... especially my boss, CK whom is very understanding, helpful and caring.. and asst supervisor, Ah Boey whom i treat as my "daddy"... also very understanding... for this one month without my parents here, all my ups and downs are shared and solved with both of them... all my ups and downs are shared with Ah Mei as well whom i treat as my jiejie and closest best buddy as she is super understanding and she cares about me a lot...

OMG.... Writing this post also brings tears in my eyes... i wonder what will happen to me in another month time and how am i gonna be in my new job...

p/s: i've already wrote my resignation letter.. it's hard i tell you but have to do it some how... my mom especially hoping and wanting me to get the new job... you dunno how many arguments we've gone through throughout my hesitation of accepting the offer... all is filled with tears of stress and depress...

and i would like to take this opportunity to thank all my frens and family who has motivated and supported me throughout my hard times and persuaded me to accept the offer... you know who you are.... THANKS A BUNCH!! love ya'll to bits and pieces... hahahhah...

feelings......

being home without my parents here with me makes me treasure them more than before... both my parents are in india right now.. they will be there for 2 months.. now, i have to handle everything at home... i may look strong and independent.. truth is, im not.. i always have the lonely feeling in me whenever i see others having fun or with their love ones... i've been in depression for quite some time now but i dun show it... i hate it when im off and not going out anywhere especially when im cashless or lack of cash.. i hate it when im bored.. that's when i start thinking a lot and always ended up crying.. guess im jst lifeless... to be honest, i want someone to love and someone to love me right now...
*my love one means everything to me.. now only i know.. it's a bit too late but hey.. better to know now than never...*

working gives me life.. working in zanmai gives me hope and life... but changing to a different work place might be a whole loads of different story... to be honest, im still hesitating whether to take a better job offer which was offered to me by esther's mom.. i've spoke to many ppl about it.. all advised me to go for it but i dunno... lack of confidence and low self-esteem makes me think twice about the JOB... the thought of leaving my bestest fren in zanmai, ah mei, kills me.. but i know i can always contact her even if im not working there.. but to me, everything would be different.. i've experienced that but is with someone else..
*trying to dare myself to accept the change but in the end i know im a coward to do so..*

many things to think of right now as im going through the stage of entering the adult world.. i hate this feeling but THIS IS LIFE.. i know... that's why no matter what im trying hard to go through it til i get the satisfaction. it may takes time but i have to be strong!! saying is easy, doing is tough/hard.. haihhhh... i dunno... i jst dunno what i want right now... working keeps my mind focus... not working makes my mind wonder.. thought bout suicide but no point.. i myself know very well that would not solve the problems. it gives others more problems.. we are mature to solve every problem we are going though... (quote: angeline jie)
*being patient by letting time lead me to where it wants me to be*

to all my old frens, you all should know who you are... I MISS HANGING OUT WITH YOU PPL!! I MISS THE LAUGHTER WE HAD.. I MISS THOSE CRAZY TIMES WE HAD... (to : primary/highschool/college/working frens)
*im jst being emo.. that's all..*
-n-